An Unexpected Reality

All I can say is thank you.

When I wrote ‘Depressed, single and I couldn’t be happier’Β I did it for me, it was my way of dealing with my demons as well as opening this blog. I could never have imagined the response I have had from everyone who has read it, it’s been an emotional and humbling week to say the least.

However before I begin writing about travel, fashion, art and food I thought I would do one more post focussing on my struggle. The reality is I could never have expected my life to change the way that it has since I was diagnosed with depression and although it has lifted a massive weight off my shoulders the feeling of loneliness has only intensified over recent months.

The inability to explain to those closest to you how you are feeling is something that I suspect many people with a mental illness go through on a daily basis. The natural response is to turn away from the world, to feign happiness in the hope that by convincing others you are okay you will in turn convince yourself.

Instead I have found that the best way to deal with inexplicable feelings is to see them as exactly that, inexplicable. The human brain is a beautiful and immensely complex thing and sometimes your mind is irrational, that’s okay. It’s okay to be lost and to not understand but the key is not to see either of those things asΒ a problem.

All through life people will tell you about the path that you are on, the path that you need to follow in order to be happy and successful. For many people this works and a path is exactly what they need, but for me that’s not the case. What I am coming to realise is that there is nothing wrong with being lost, sometimes it is the lack of a path and the ability to accept this that allows you be comfortable with yourself.

It has taken me a long time to reach this place and like most aspects of my life it is a work in progress, but I wouldn’t be anywhere without those closest to me. So this is my rather strange way of saying thank you! Thank you to the people I know and love and thank you to those who I don’t know and perhaps never will.

The honest truth is I don’t know where I’m going, but that’s okay.

See you soon…

J.

 

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